PROLOKAR HOODIE (Mildly cursed)
What is this garment before you? A hoodie... Black... No, BLACK... The kind of black that absorbs light and accountability. A fabric stitched from the same cloth as blackout curtains in unpaid apartments. This isn’t a hoodie. It’s a withdrawal... From people, from plans, from that phone call you keep forgetting to return. You slide into it like a shadow slides under a door—quiet, inevitable, uninvited.
Down both sleeves: pizza rolls. Suspended. Ascending. Rendered with unsettling reverence by Killurmonkey, who saw cosmic horror in processed snacks and translated it into wearable prophecy. They trail your arms like a sodium-fueled comet storm. You try to recall the taste. All that comes is the hum of a microwave and your father's distant disappointment.
The left breast bears a mark. The PROLOKAR sigil... Looks like a secret society emblem, feels like a bad decision... You don’t remember when you started watching the stream. You just remember the night ended with you yelling something all alone in your bedroom you probably shouldn't have. No one heard you... Except the hoodie... It remembers...
Wearing this hoodie will not fix you, but it will make you feel curated. Ironically detached. Sincerely doomed. And hot, in the way people on late-night forums understand.
Only in black. Obviously...
Artwork by Killurmonkey...
Endorsed by entropy...
Bonuses:
+1 Inland Empire ("You hear the stream even when the broadcast is offline.")
+1 Empathy ("They poured their soul into this... or at least their sleep deprivation.")
Penalties:
-1 Suggestion ("You look like someone who spends too much time online.")
-1 Composure ("Crumbs of digital despair cling to you like lint.")
Passive Effect – Archive Rot:
Triggers occasional intrusive thoughts in dialogue. Unrelated memories of past livestreams, snack food commercials, and cringe moments from your youth resurface without warning.
More details
- 80% cotton, 20% recycled polyester fleece
- Fabric weight: 9.4 oz./yd.² (319 g/m²)
- Relaxed fit
- Lined pullover hood with no drawcord
- Dropped shoulders
- Kangaroo pocket in front
- Sleeve cuff ribbing
- Tear-away tag
Disclaimer: The brushed interior of this hoodie tends to shed. To reduce visible traces of lint on clothes, avoid wearing dark colors under light-colored clothes and vice versa.
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: The Official PROLOKAR Merch Store
- Email: prolokar-shop@support.fourthwall.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. The brushed interior of this hoodie tends to shed. To reduce visible traces of lint on clothes, avoid wearing dark colors under light-colored clothes and vice versa. Meets the formaldehyde, lead, cadmium, bisphenols, phthalates level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
PROLOKAR HOODIE (Mildly cursed) Size Guide
| Size label | A | B | C |
|---|---|---|---|
|
S
|
27.75
|
22 1/2
|
22 1/2
|
|
M
|
28.75
|
23 1/2
|
22 1/2
|
|
L
|
29.75
|
24.75
|
24.25
|
|
XL
|
30.75
|
26
|
24.25
|
|
2XL
|
31.75
|
27.25
|
25 1/2
|
|
3XL
|
32.75
|
28.25
|
27
|